Michael's Blog about George's "Elephant's Graveyard"

AFFIRMATIONS:

Great work!

It feels tighter and has more movement to it--meaning it seems to carry me through the event more than present it to me. Not that the latter is necessarily wrong in a show based upon the spectacle of the circus, but I like the movement. It seems to feel like it's more aligned with a persistent inevitability of the train than the splashy, spectacle of the circus while keeping plenty of the latter in there. Does that make sense?

Along that "train" of thought, I like the increased use of the train whistle and the drums. And the murmurs/chants of the townspeople. I think these will add to the tension and the theatricality of the play. Good work!

"nothing grey can stand up to that much black and white"
...not sure why this line stood out this time as opposed to in the past, but it did. Really like it. But I could be here all day noting lines that stand out. And I've given you that feedback before.

I liked the exercise yesterday: tinkering with it in class. Listening, adjusting, etc. That was interesting to watch and I'm sure it provided you with some specific things that can help you tweak this play at this point in the process.

QUESTIONS:

Why does the preacher object to hanging the elephant? (In the old draft he used to think it had a soul that was possessed and a townsperson gave this speech about "the people minus one"... I think it makes sense to combine them, but I don't know why the preacher objects.)

What is the preacher's opinion about lynching black men?

Is the part about trying to sneak out of town necessary? Is it trying to build tension?

In Ballet Girl's speech about trunks pointing down, she says they teach "you" that first thing. Is she talking about teaching the performers/trainers or the elephants? (or both?) Mary was the one who dropped her tusk. It seems to be talking about the elephants, but if it is, then the "you" feels a little odd. (ok, so I've jumped ahead and added some of my opinions to the questions section... hang me!) On the other hand... the "you" almost-eerily gives Mary a human quality.

What was the motivation for changing the man who stands on his head for a strongman? (pragmatic as far as casting? other plot reasons? not sure I have an opinion on that, but I used to like the visual of the man on his head--linking it to some of the absurdities and spectacle, etc. It seems some of his lines were given power by being delivered "upside down" or out of step with others, etc.)

OPINIONS:

(see above, and: )

I like it all being in one town.

I like the combining of speeches into fewer characters, but I'm not sure all of them seem in the voice of that character. (This may be because I'm used to hearing them from other characters.) Most specifically: I miss the Preacher sounding like a southern preacher. He seems a little neutered--not like a small-town man of God of yore. I would think he'd have more blustery, puffed-up language because he has to use that each week to try to stir up people. I realize he sort of feels second place to the circus and this addition is powerful. I like that speech about the steps of the church. I just think his language would be more heightened (or is that a stereotype?) and as I said above, not sure why he objects to hanging elephant in this draft.

I love the cast coming back as clowns at the end! Adds even more power to an already powerful moment.

I like the analogy to lynching African-Americans being late in the play--where it was placed in yesterday's reading. And I like this re-write of Hungry's speech better than what we heard on Tuesday. As we discussed, I'm not fond of actually linking "colored men" to animals, and in this draft you've toned that down. I'm not trying to be PC here. I think many southerners at that time wouldn't have flinched a bit at making that link and in fact some defenses of slavery had been linked to such. BUT theatrically, it is more powerful for me to make that link myself in my head without it being actually said.

Also it seems like you used the word "black man" once in the reference. I'm not sure a white southerner would've used that at the time--maybe so... but I think he would be more likely to used "colored" Or the "n-word" (My great aunt who was born in 1902, used to say "darkie" until she died in 1997. Ouch. I hate admitting that, but it just is.) I'm not an expert on this by any means, but "Black" seems post 1960s.

~~

That's all I've got for now. I've loved watching this play develop. It "hooked" me the first time I read it as your lab assistant last semester--even when it was front-heavy with monologues. It is so exciting to experience these lighter, nimbler, more powerful version. Nothing really being lost, but much gained. Congratulations to you both!