Soo-Jin's Response to "Elephant's Graveyard"

Affirmation

Wonderful work, both of you.

Session One

The experience of witnessing the play with a room full of actors was cool. I forgot how BIG the play is in terms of cast size. So I appreciated visually seeing that. Casting can sometimes be a monster but kudos for you in bringing it together.

Being told you did cuts, I was looking out for what was gone and what was still kept. Any major changes. I guess the biggie was the earlier placement of the "lynching" monologue. (In Session Two, you placed it towards the end and I think that really really WORKED BETTER.)

I noticed you had shorter phrases or lines spoken in place of bigger passages in previous drafts. I suppose with rehearsing, that intercutting of speakers will run more smoothly and in the rhythym that you want it to run. Cutting the text like that for me gives me the pinball effect. I just made that up--where I feel like the atmostphere of the play is energetic/high energy, spontaneous, with a keep you on your toes anticipation--which I bet is the circus environment as spectator. Unfortunately I've never been to a circus. Seen it in movies mostly.

I really enjoyed the Hungry Townsperson--the role that Michael Mitchell (or La M) wrote. It might've been his spectacular reading but I just loved that character. He felt very 3-D to me. He didn't have the most lines in the play but I could totally get a sense and feel for him that makes me like the townspeople. Daniel mentioned earlier in the semester that plays can leave an indentation in our emotional landscape and the job of the playwright is to feel out what that indentation is. (If I have that idea spun incorrectly, please correct.) The Hungry Townsperson left a solid indentation in my emotional landscape. So good job! Let me get a little more specific on why this character resonated for me. He has a particular way of speaking. Seemed like short sentences. Simple sentences but profound nonetheless. He seemed like a philosopher who perhaps only graduated from junior high but has a sharp intuition. He's also very zen in his laidbackness. The way he delivers the lynching monologue. He says it matter-of-factly but I take him very serious. He's delightful.

Session Two

I didn't have the script in front of me for Session One but in the stage directions of the draft in Session One, did you have sound/sound effects? If so, I might not have paid much attention to them.

And that is perhaps why the payoff was great in Session Two because the class added them. I'm glad you and Erica were orchestrating. That helped a lot.

I enjoyed hearing that Red walked into Mary's tent.

I also love how the preacher is developing. He is showing vulnerability. I wonder who he's addressing when he does this. Because that is a huge thing to do for public figures. I think it's an interesting choice you make that the preacher is jealous of the circus but also doesn't condemn it more due to that. I wonder how he personally feels about the circus--like if it was his childhood pasttime or something he avoided always, etc.

Questions

Just some things to think about if you want and not necessarily have answered in the text unless you want to-

1. What does the circus mean to each person?

2. What led them to the circus? As spectator? As employee?

3. What was the reputation back then of circus workers? (Which class did they belong to?)

4. What is Red's backstory? I'm curious about him most 'cause he doesn't speak. Not that he needs to. Others don't say much about him biographically so I assume that he is very new to the circus.

5. What is the timeline of Red's history with the circus? I imagine it is short. Like he seems to just pop up right before the play begins.

6. Does the Ballet Girl have any children?

7. Do only a certain class of people attend the circus? Like would "proper society" avoid it? It is the entertainment of the masses?

8. Is there a "society" in Irwin?

9. Who has the most power/sway in town?

10. Who has most power/sway in circus?

11. Anyone really mourn Red's death?

12. If Mary could talk, what would she say? (esp. at the hanging..you know how the executioner lets the about to be executed have a few words)

Opinion

I almost craved some action in Mary's tent when Red walked in. Nothing huge necessarily. But the build up was great. Like he walked in without permission. Ballet girl thought he would do something lewd to her but he just stared at Mary. I wonder what the equivalent might be

The one character who I'd like to see have a bigger emotional arc is the Ringmaster. I understand his concerns with money and it is fitting but even if secretly we found out his reaction to Mary's situation--whether he's pro or anti-Mary, I would take the Ringmaster more seriously in that "Oh, good. He's human after all. He has an opinion on this town and on Mary." Because right now he reads to me as textbook--on the cut and dry side. Perhaps you wanted that effect, too. But I mention him because he has a huge role in the circus. He's like the mayor of the circus (just saying this not knowing the real hierarchy). It can go in either direction...like the audience could find him more heartless and cruel or actually super humane but conflicted as hell. I guess I'm hungry for his reaction and actions to be turned up a notch in either direction.

One big thing I noticed in the Second Session was that I wanted to have more voice as the Townspeople or whoever's in the audience who wishes Mary dead. The whispering has a powerful effect but I would like to hear what their justifications are. They don't have to all repeat the same thing necessarily. I just wanna hear how badly they want Mary to be punished. Is it a crime and justice thing? Is it animals are below human beings pride? I wanna hear even conflicts within the town. i.e., A hunter might talk about how his loved one got killed by a bear but he didn't kill the bear, etc. And maybe they have really simple reasons. Dumb reasons even. But that will be more payoff I think for later when Mary does get hung. I want to see I guess the actual idiocy of the situation.

Literary dressing to theatrical dressing sounds like a wonderful goal for "Elephant's Graveyard"...Love the performance within a performance aspect. Especially in the opening where everyone is introducing the circus. I loved the meltdown version of it (10 years forward version) you shared in Steven's class. I felt a lot of sympathy for the ringmaster which I don't really feel in your present draft. Like the Hungry Townsperson is the human version of the whole town almost but he is like the one no one seems to listen to... I feel like his circus equivalent is the Ringmaster. I wanna know how much power he has. Does he have final say?

The circus court of appeals is brought up by the clown. I am very curious about that. Was that a joke or it existed in old circus days?

To finish off the literary to theatrical dressing comment, I can see more of this in "E.G."

I didn't notice a huge difference in my perception of the town just 'cause more women were present in the mob. The opinions of killing Mary did not seem to change. Speaking of sex, I wonder if Mary being a girl elephant makes the hanging more grotesque or not. For me, as a spectator, it does. From the historical blurbs, does it say "Mary" or that the elephant was female?

Instead of paying attention to systems, I kept track of what the town said and what the circus said. And even knocking that down further, what each individual said. Each person's opinion to me was important. The clowns seemed the most passionate of the circus crowd. They had the most compassion for Mary. In the town, I'm not sure who was the most vindictive towards Mary.

Just something to think about, if Mary had stepped on a townsperson's head, that would be interesting just to see if the town would be more upset, probably. But no one knew Red. At least from town. As a spectator, I would feel sorrier for Red had he been a truly saint-like worker who ran into bad luck. Or in your early version of the play from last fall, I also liked how Red seemed to be in fault for pissing Mary off perhaps regularly (tapping of tusks). Perhaps he was an animal abuser type of mean kid. In an interesting way, I interpreted him as a kid who probably lied about his age to work for the circus.

I just equate circus people on stage as lots of movement on stage. Lots of potential to be a real visual treat.

Hope this was helpful. Looking forward to what you do next. Awesome job, guys.

Soo-Jin